


what the hap is fuckening

by stxrthief



Category: Deadpool (Movieverse), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Artist Steve Rogers, Bisexual Peter Parker, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, Bucky has a prosthetic arm, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, Deaf Clint Barton, F/F, Fluff, Good Sibling Pietro Maximoff, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Wanda Maximoff/Vision, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Peter is a Little Shit, Pietro Maximoff Needs a Hug, Protective Clint Barton, Protective Natasha Romanov, Stephen Strange is So Done, Thor is a Good Bro (Marvel), Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Wade Wilson Knows this is Fanfiction, Wade Wilson is a Good Bro, Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug, both peters - Freeform, healthy amounts of thanos slander, jesus fuck im about to make the twins suffer, mild homophobia, this is for u kaz, thor is just cool, tony stark is a little shit, warning this fic is NOT vision friendly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:35:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28680447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stxrthief/pseuds/stxrthief
Summary: The Avengers and co? In high school? And they're gay???Yeah that's the summary it's funny I promise
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Thor, Brunnhilde | Valkyrie/Carol Danvers, Clint Barton/Pietro Maximoff, Gamora/Peter Quill, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Michelle Jones/Shuri, Past Wanda Maximoff/Vision, Peter Parker/Wade Wilson, Scott Lang/Hope Van Dyne, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, Wanda Maximoff/Natasha Romanov
Comments: 6
Kudos: 59





	1. Chapter 1

_dori-toes_

_yeeter - Peter Parker_  
_(c)hop off my dick - Wade Wilson_  
_bitchcraft - Wanda Maximoff_  
_natasha - Natasha Romanoff_  
_targay - Clint Barton_  
_fast and furious - Pietro Maximoff_  
_arm lover - Bruce Banner_  
_the arm guy - Thor Odinson_  
_toe knee - Tony Stark_  
_magic man - Stephen Strange_  
_the other arm guy - Bucky Barnes_  
_dad? - Steve Rogers_  
_wine aunt - Valkyrie_  
_ladyfucker - Carol Danvers_  
_lang schlang - Scott Lang_  
_y'all are HOPEless - Hope Van Dyne_  
_buzzfeed unsolved - Michelle Jones_  
_i shuri hope it does - Shuri_  
_leeding you on - Ned Leeds_  
_caw caw - Sam Wilson_  
_gamma ray - Gamora_  
_eiffel 65 - Nebula_  
_oldie but goldie - Peter Quill_  
_the one who's never online - Rhodey_  


_Monday 07:43_

targay: tony made this chat and made himself the only person who could assign nicknames, he named the chat dori-toes and made his own name "toe knee" this is why i believe he has a foot fetish

toe knee: what the fuck

toe knee: i literally changed everyones names for senior year last night and ur bullying me already u dickhead

bitchcraft: can you really be surprised

toe knee: i dont have a foot fetish

targay: suuuure u dont

i shuri hope it does: unrelated but why did i think wanda's username was minecraft for a second

buzzfeed unsolved: it's bc ur fucking dyslexic babe <3

i shuri hope it does: can i get an f in the chat

wine aunt: no the fuck you may not

leeding you on: lamo bully shuri hours

yeeter: lamo

leeding you on: friendship w peter parker ended, peter quill is now my new best friend

yeeter: NED

oldie but goldie: noice

yeeter: heart been broke so many timea

buzzfeed unsolved: timea

yeeter: why have you forsaken me mj

buzzfeed unsolved: its fun and i like to keep people on their toes. today? im your friend? tomrrow? who knows

bitchcraft: tomrrow

buzzfeed unsolved: You Have Made An Enemy

bitchcraft: it would not be the first time ive done that

bitchcraft: hashtag yolo

toe knee: hey wanda! quick question!

toe knee: what the fuck is wrong with you

bitchcraft: that is a lot to get into but. all my problems would not be problems any more if i just had a girlfriend

toe knee: you mean a therapist

bitchcraft: no i wanna be drowning in pussy

natasha: that can be arranged ;)

bitchcraft: eye-

natasha: meet mebfgbfhjnvsjnbz

natasha: clint took my phone, sorry

bitchcraft: oh its okay

_the pretty best friend and the other one_

_tash - Natasha Romanoff_  
_clit - Clint Barton_  


tash: i fucking hate you blint carton

clit: that's a new one

tash: why woudl you do that

clit: because you're gay and she's gay and you're basically in love with her and youre my best friend and u want u to b happy

tash: clint

clit: okay sorry

tash: i'll tell her how i feel when i think im ready

clit: go bes fren go

tash: you're a pain

clit: you love me

tash: maybe

_when ur both the gay twin_

_getting gayer - Wanda Maximoff_  
_sonic the bitch - Pietro Maximoff_  


getting gayer: i want to kashoot myself

sonic the bitch: watching that go down was physically painful

getting gayer: bitch

sonic the bitch: you need to learn more insults

getting gayer: no

getting gayer: bitch

sonic the bitch: then u need to tell natasha how u feel

getting gayer: how would i benefit

sonic the bitch: the AUDACITY of this bitch

sonic the bitch: you would be drowning in pussy and i would no longer be dealing with your bullshit

getting gayer: dont act like u dont voluntarily deal with my bullshit to avoid dealing with yours

sonic the bitch: we have the same trauma so dealing with yours deals with mine. cancels out. PEMDAS.

getting gayer: pietro this is why you failed maths

sonic the bitch: bitch


	2. what the fuck clint

_dori-toes_

_yeeter - Peter Parker_  
_(c)hop off my dick - Wade Wilson_  
_bitchcraft - Wanda Maximoff_  
_natasha - Natasha Romanoff_  
_targay - Clint Barton_  
_fast and furious - Pietro Maximoff_  
_arm lover - Bruce Banner_  
_the arm guy - Thor Odinson_  
_toe knee - Tony Stark_  
_magic man - Stephen Strange_  
_the other arm guy - Bucky Barnes_  
_dad? - Steve Rogers_  
_wine aunt - Valkyrie_  
_ladyfucker - Carol Danvers_  
_lang schlang - Scott Lang_  
_y'all are HOPEless - Hope Van Dyne_  
_buzzfeed unsolved - Michelle Jones_  
_i shuri hope it does - Shuri_  
_leeding you on - Ned Leeds_  
_caw caw - Sam Wilson_  
_gamma ray - Gamora_  
_eiffel 65 - Nebula_  
_oldie but goldie - Peter Quill_  
_the one who's never online - Rhodey_

_Monday 10:05_

natasha: clint how do u already have detention

targay: it's called talent sweaty xoxo

arm lover: you were in the vents werent you

targay: go back to ur sciencey shit bruce please

arm lover: without science we'd probably all be dead. dont diss it like that

targay: im moments away from death at all times and have only survived bc of luck. fuck science

targay: can i get a fuck science in the chat

(c)hop off my dick: fuck science

fast and furious: fuck science

the arm guy: fuck science 

the other arm guy: fuck science and fuck tony for the username

toe knee: you wish you could fuck me

the other arm guy: disgusting

dad?: fuck science

wine aunt: FUCK SCIENCE ME N ALL MY HOMIES HATE SCIENCE

ladyfucker: hey i like astronomy thats science

wine aunt: you're my gf not my homie thats different

ladyfucker: :)

wine aunt: you're on thin ice tho

ladyfucker: >:/

lang schlang: fuck science (sorry hope ily)

y'all HOPEless: everyone has their shortcomings. this is yours. i love you too

natasha: stop being all in love and shit

targay: YOU WISH THAT WAS YOU HUH

natasha: says you of all fucking people

toe knee: oop

 _the one who is never online_ has kicked _toe knee_ from the group

i shuri hope it does: BVHCHNVDJ?

fast and furious: rhodey chose violence

(c)hop off my dick: and we love to see it

leeding you on: i love that the only other person with admin rights immediately kicked tony from his own group

oldie but goldie: an icon

 _arm lover_ has added _toe knee_ to the group

toe knee: heart been broke so many times

arm lover: he was spam texting me so i added him back

targay: fair

natasha: so what classes do we all have first

fast and furious: i have history with thanos first and i might cry

toe knee: yeah same

yeeter: me three

toe knee: we're gonna get hate crimed together lmao

the arm guy: wait why

yeeter: he's a homophobe, among other things, but that's the bit that applies to us

fast and furious: he also fell for the "iMmiGrAntS stEaL jObs" thing, which sucks for me, an immigrant

bitchcraft: even tho we've been here since we were ten

the other arm guy: brb bout to hate crime thanos

dad?: he's white and cishet (presumably) so it's not really a hate crime

the other arm guy: well he's gonna fucking hate it

dad?: let me help

natasha: much as i want him dead no one is murdering a teacher

natasha: at least not on our first day jfc

targay: wait how come natasha doesnt have a dumb username

toe knee: scary

targay: fair

natasha: :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow i wrote
> 
> kudos appreciated, feedback even more so
> 
> thanks for reading :)

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for making it through the first chapter of this shit storm if you liked it, leave a kudos, better yet a comment as that really encourages me!


End file.
